(Print above from Inkling T-shirt)
Now, we all know that if you want to stop the internet personalising adverts aimed at you whenever you’re online, all you have to do is go onto Tools, delete the browsing history, then on Internet Options at the bottom, check the box that says Delete History On Exit.
Didn’t know that? My bad. I should have told you sooner.
Having done that a long time ago, I get hardly any ads now. We all know about blocking pop-ups by now too, don’t we?
However, when you go on a dating site during your browsing session, that all changes.
Once you’ve signed in, the site knows your sex and your age – so once you hit 40, the ads on your dating site homepage are all suddenly for tooth-whitening, tummy-tuck surgery, and photos of unlikely men looking for 40+ women (yes, Mr. Phillip Schofield – or his impersonator!).
And pages of advice on how to attract that love-god you haven’t spotted yet.
But occasionally, like I mentioned before, there’s a glitch where it sends you the wrong commercial advice page after you sign out – like I suddenly got pages of advice aimed at men.
What’s interesting after having a read though, is the difference between the advice being aimed at men, and the advice being aimed at women.
Women are being told to learn masses of behavioural and conversational tactics. Games of approach and retreat, buying themselves flowers, and not to ask questions if a guy dumps them.
Men are being told this:
There are only three things you need to say to a woman when you first meet her, to get her interested in you.
Oh, rly? 🙂
The ‘experiment’ apparently demonstrated that men only said these three things, and the women carried on the conversation for as long as the guy wanted it to.
But you see, it doesn’t take this into account.
There’s no trick to it, or special conversational topic, or three magic questions you have to ask.
All you have to do, is to start a goddamned conversation. People of either sex naturally fall into conversation if you hit it off, after any icebreaker.
If you don’t hit it off, or she/he doesn’t fancy you, no amount of “Open Sesame!” is going to unlock that chastity belt.
And if you conduct the ‘experiment’ in a bar, where there is alcohol, pretty much anyone will have a conversation with anything.
Don’t fall for these gurus telling you they’ve got Jedi skills to get women into bed or men down the aisle. If they have, you can be damn sure they’re using the same Jedi skills to empty your wallet.
If you want to talk to women/men, just TALK to them.
It’s usually free (except on those chat-lines, or if you’re on a pay-phone).
If you start a conversation acting like a salesman, you’re going to have to deliver a lot more in the long term to keep that interest going. More than any guy would who she’d be genuinely interested in without a sales or self-promotion tactic.
Trust me on this one.