Marmite. You either +1 it, or you hate it.

Let’s be sensible about this. How many of you discuss your likes and dislikes freely nowadays, without the fear of some nosy parker going on your Farcebuck page and sneakily checking up you?

“You said earlier that you liked Marmite. But you haven’t ‘Liked’ them on Farcebuck. Are you sure you didn’t just +1 Marmite instead?”

People aren’t allowed to have this conversation in peace anymore either:

“Did you like the movie?”

“Oh, yes, I liked the movie. It was great!”

“Liar. I just looked at your profile. You haven’t ‘Liked’ it at all.”


Imagine this exchange, at speed-dating:

“What sort of things do you like?”

“Well, this morning I ‘Liked’ a blog post about wellington boots, a YouLube video of a penguin farting, a Gargle advert for home brew, and the KY-Jelly Farcebuck fan page.”

I am not impressed with social networking, spammers and salespeople ganging up online fishing for ‘Likes’, swapping ‘Likes’ and Tweeting ‘Likes’. I have this to say:

What is the cash equivalent? I will take that instead, thank you very much.

In fact, I’m thinking of creating a fake ‘Like’ button, and posting it all over the internet linking it immediately to a Swiss bank account. Or a charity. Or the Amazon gift page.

As Pink said “Keep your drink, just give me the money…”

I want to be able to use the word ‘like’ in a normal conversation!!!

Bah. Rant over!


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